An Author Sees the Fruits of His Labor
by Gocatcatcat
Summary: Eoin Colfer learns of fanfiction and decides to visit the world of Artemis Fowl fanfiction. What happens?


Title: An Author Sees The Fruits of His Labor

**Title: An Author Sees The Fruits of His Labor**

**Author's Note/ Summary: I got the idea for this story when I recalled, yesterday, how I first discovered Fanfiction.**

**I believe I heard the term a few times before, but never gave it a second though until half a year or so ago when I, being the hopeless fangirl I am, was stalking Eoin Colfer's website. On the website I read a comment recommending Eoin to come to fanfiction. Curious, I looked to see what it was (to make sure that it was worthy of the almighty Eoin Colfer, obviously) and the rest is history (albeit history that no one really cares about).**

**Yesterday my mind wandered (as minds with short-attention spans tend to) to this question: What if Eoin Colfer took, as I did, that person's advice? What would he find here, and what would he make of it?**

**I think that Eoin Colfer who, after all, started my reason for living (Artemis Fowl, yes I am pathetic) deserves a story. I don't know if a story with this plot has been done before, but I don't recall any memory of such a story, so I'm writing it now. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. The main character of this fanfic, Eoin Colfer, does. Eoin Colfer, if you ARE reading this than I sincerely apologize for those AF parodies that I wrote, with Artemis being OOC and/or dying. Oh and I'm sorry about stealing your identity for this story. Please don't sue me for Identity Theft. I INCLUDED A DISCLAIMER!**

**An Author Sees The Fruits of His Labor**

**Chapter 1: What ****is** **this Fanfiction?**

Eoin POV:

I sighed, turning my head away from the computer. Rolling up the sleeves of my striped sweater, I checked my watch and sighed again.

Not even 10 o'clock yet and I was already bored. It was a dreary morning in Ireland. The sun was fighting a loosing battle with the clouds, and fog hung low to the grounds.

All in all, not fantastic weather.

What was I going to do today? My wife and two sons were off on a trip to London. I could work on the _Time Paradox_, but wasn't in the mood. I typed so much the other day that my hands hurt just at the thought of typing another chapter. A day off, that's what I needed.

Maybe I could go to my website…why not read some comments? With all the work I've recently done, not only did I put myself at risk of tendonitis, but I haven't been able to visit the site.

Expertly navigating my way through the world wide net, I got to the comments.

Artttyfan2049 says: _"Dude, Yur stories r awesum! I read them al the time during English clas. Cant w8t for Time Paradox 2 cum out!" _

I could see that Artttyfan2049 was reading Artemis Fowl when the English teacher taught him spelling and grammar, but I appreciated the comment nevertheless. The next comment read:

Bookdork13 says: _"No offense but I was a bit disappointed with Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony. Why does Artemis have questions about Puberty? He's supposed to be a genius! And also, he says something incorrectly. When he goes into Limbo, Artemis stated "The sky was dawn-red, and glowed above him like a lake of blood. That's a cheery metaphor" (pages 305-306), that's a simile, not a metaphor! Other than that, the series is amazing (excluding a few spelling mistakes). Keep writing!_

Ah, so there is still hope for civilization in the area of grammar! How did I miss that in editing? Or better yet, how did I my editor miss that? Someone's getting fired…

Twilight+AF4eva says: _Eoin Colfer, you should go to ! You've got a lot of fans there! _

Fanfiction? I though for a moment, where have I heard of that? Oh yes! I snapped my fingers, recalling a fan the other day at a book signing, telling me that fanfiction was their addiction because of Artemis Fowl. I remembered being concerned that my books were causing kids to become hooked on mood altering substances called "fanfiction".

Hmmm… I was interested now. What was fanfiction? First matter of business: research.

Seems I found my activity for the day.

After doing 10 minutes of research, I found that fanfiction was a website that allowed to write stories based on books, shows, movies, etc. and not get arrested for it. There was a whole science of terms in fanfiction: Mary Sues, fandoms, forums, Gary Stu's, fangirls (not to be confused with rabid fangirls), fanmales, lemons, trolls, OOC, OC, Squee's, canon, AU, Sue Slayers, beta, slash, and many more terms that I had to learn.

Now I believed that I was armed with enough information to read this "fanfiction".

The first story that I decided to read sounded promising:

Artemis Fowl: Forgiveness is Sweet, but Revenge is Sweeter. Summary: Artemis Fowl is back from Limbo to find that a lot of things have changed. And some things haven't. The hatred of his enemies is one of the things that remain the same. A x M, H x T (Some Romance, but not much) Rated: K+ Genres: Adventure/ Revenge Work-in-Progress

Nice title, a bit long for my tastes, but still clever, and creative. Not bad for a story idea and hints at a common theme, and a few side themes. Hmm… not bad. Not bad at all.

I clicked on the story and got started reading.

(1/2 hour later)

I finished the last posted chapter. The story itself was as I originally thought. Not fantastic, but a well-rounded story. By now I knew how to review and left an anonymous review:

_Nice story but I can't see Artemis Fowl saying some of those more romantic things. Imply them, maybe, but not say them out loud. Are you sure you're not imagining yourself as Minerva, and seeing Artemis pledge his "undying love and caring" to yourself? Other than that, everyone seemed in character. Interesting idea, John Spiro, Opal Koboi, and Sool working together. _

Coming back to the Fowl archives, I saw another story.

The New Maid. Summary: There's a new, beatiful, smart maid in Fowl Manor. Arty fals in looooove wit her! NOT SUE, SHE'S JUST PERFECT! Beter than it sound. Best storie Ive written! Warnin: Lemons! Rated: M Genres: Romance Work- in- Progress

Wow, this sounded terrible. After reading a few chapters (an act that was very difficult to do without the desire to throw up after every grammatically-lacking, badly- written, no-plot sentence filled with more graphic details than was legal) I concluded that the story was NOT, in fact, "Beter than it sound".

Although I had to give this author some credit. No matter how many people told the author to give up writing and the occasional death threat, she continued writing. For 57 chapters (and was apparently not done yet). Basically every one of her 936 reviews were flames, except for the odd "Ur writing iz amazing! Don't stp!"

Next story was a crossover between Artemis Fowl and a rival _New York Times _Best-seller: Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer.

Clash of Two Worlds. Summary: Artemis stumbles upon information in the Book about more magical creatures, Vampires. Until now, this information has been waved away, but when Artemis decides to take research into his own hands me meets none other than the Cullens.

Rated: K+ Genres: Adventure Completed

Also a good story. I had read Twilight the year before in order to see what the big deal was, and I had to admit, Stephanie Meyer did create a masterpiece romance young-adult series.

Looking at my watch, I realized that it was time for lunch. Before I went off to make a sandwich, I decided to read one last story.

Here was one: An Author Sees the Fruits of His Labor. Summary: Eoin Colfer learns of fanfiction and decides to visit the world of Artemis Fowl fanfiction. What happens? Rated: K Genres: Humor Completed

I read the summary, and laughed. Let's see what this is, I thought.

The beginning of the story was a bolded author's note, but I decided to get right to the story.

"_I sighed, turning my head away from the computer. Rolling up the sleeves of my striped sweater, I checked my watch and sighed again. _

_Not even 10 o'clock yet and I was already bored. It was a dreary morning in Ireland. The sun was fighting a loosing battle with the clouds, and fog hung low to the grounds ", _I read.

Strange. Lucky guess by the author, I decided looking out at the fog that still clouded my window. I continued reading, getting more and more surprised as I read on. The story was describing my day perfectly!

Getting nervous now, I scrolled down to the end of the chapter, only to find that in the story "I" scrolled down to read the end of the story.

Freaked out, I decided to turn off the computer and never look at fanfiction again…


End file.
